Monday, August 29, 2005

It's a bad sign when not even a dog can save a movie for me: Main Prem Ki Deewani Hoon

People on Bollywhat have said so many funny things about this movie that there really isn't any need for me to post about it, but here goes nothing.

The main thing to keep in mind if you ever want to see this is that there is a lot of hyperactivity in this movie, from at least nine human characters (heroine, her friends, her mother, family servant, secretary, and hero) (more on the non-humans later), which is all counterbalanced by the energy-sucking placidity of one of the other characters. The placid guy doesn't show up until halfway through so the first hour+ is like when the bad boys who sit in the back row of music class are snorting pixie sticks. Just as sugary, too, so it's not really a bad thing necessarily - it's just rEaLlY ReAlLy LiKe OhMyGoD WoOoHoOo SuPeRwOW eyes bugging out bouncing dancing weird animation rollicking craziness that I guess the filmmakers thought might somehow be attractive or compelling.

I don't usually write out plot summaries to this extent, but I couldn't think of a shorter way to describe what goes on here. So, the plot:
Feisty, free-spirited daddy's girl and her gang of friends have just graduated from college, seeming to have majored in Spice Girls. They sing a big song about their feelings on marriage, which are that they will choose, thank you very much. And that they are their daddies' angels. Girl's sister in the US phones to say a boy her family does business with, Prem K, is coming to their town in India and she thinks they'd be a great match. Boy shows up and girl, after initally being hostile to boy due to her mother's monney-grubbing match-making, grows to love boy and is completely swept off her feet by his grand pronouncements and goofball hysterics. Her parents and friends approve, especially as he early and easily passes the friends' four-part test, which involves a lot of clothing being removed and close inspection of body parts. Really.

Another email from sister in US says boy never made it to India yet because he had to go to Japan suddenly, and that he will arrive tomorrow. So who is this first boy? Turns out his name is also Prem K., and he works for the same company - owned by (and named after) boy 2. Boy 1 has to go out of town for business but, hearing his good buddy boy 2 ("Boss") will be arriving, asks girl to show him around. They have a jolly time and boy 2 falls for girl, as they have much more in common, on paper, than girl and boy 1. Boy 2's mother is also around and is smitten with girl, and a proposal is made. Girl distraught to find out that boy 2 is really the person she was set up with. Mother, who has become a complete nightmare, puts much pressure on the match with boy 2 (the originally intended suitor) and takes great pains to spurn boy 1. Father is distressed for his daughter's and boy 1's suffering, reassures boy 1 that daughter loves him, and tells his beeee-yatch wife to step off.

Girl tells boy 1 she loves him and he agrees to come back by a certain time on the day of her engagement to boy 2, in time to stop it. But he doesn't show - he's on a train, speeding away, unable to break his best friend's heart. Girl and boy 2 get engaged; boy 1 comes in the room; girl stares at him crazily; and then slaps him and finally collapses in tears at his feet. Mother of boy 2, moved boy the love of girl and boy 1, says girl is released and is delighted that she loves her "other son" and that he is a good boy. Boy 1 and girl marry (offscreen) and girl and boy 2 are firm friends. The end.

I'm so glad people on the forum pointed out the the movie's director is Barjatya - I've hated both of the other movies of his I've seen (HAHK and HSSH), so I'm feeling a lot better about being so underwhelmed and agitated by this one.

Must also mention that rounding out the cast are a computer animated talking parrot, who speaks in movie titles that are not accurately translated into English, and a dog whose head becomes a cartoon when he is angry. Worst animals in a movie ever. Couldn't they at least have had an animatronic parrot?

In addition to the hyperactivity and aforementioned critters, you should be warned about Hrithik's bizarro voice, Kareena's hair (for the love of non-stripe-y-ness, have someone touch up your roots!), and more than usual sexual innuendoes, which are actually fairly funny. There is little redeeming about this story or performances for me other than the dad, although somehow girl and boy 1's general personalities and total spaziness suit one another. As Melina would say, they've done us all a favor by taking themselves off the market.

3 comments:

CesmiSiyah said...

I just realized while I read your MPKDH review that the actor that plays Kareena's dad in this actually is Pankaj Kapur - Kareena's real life boyfriend Shahid's dad. Isn't that... lovely?

And of course: I love your blog! Keep up the good work :)

ajnabi said...

That is hilarious - can't believe we both called them the Spice Girls! Even Abhi couldn't save this movie for me but he was definitely the best part of it.

Beth said...

:) I just re-read this post and was surprised that I was so negative about it. I've re-watched it since writing and it's grown on me, apparently.

Abhi has a real uphill battle, though, doesn't he!