Monday, October 03, 2005

This is what's called a lunchtime poll.

Everybody in the cafeteria, listen up. Thanks to a recent round of emails, my curiosity in the following question has been piqued:

Which do you find more mystefyingly loud/bizarre/heinous/just plain ugly in Bollywood men's costumes, as a general rule?
a) shirts - shiny, tight, or sheer, there is a plethora of so-bad-it's-good choices
b) pants - pleather, sailor-flared, or freakishly bleached, there's no end of ways to make your bottom half go south
c) hats and other headwear - random (think stetson), emblazoned with words, or feather-bedecked, it's a strange world when the wedding turban seems normal by comparison

Note: an item of apparel can be included for consideration whether Salman has it on or off - it's the appearance of it that counts, not its actual function in the film.

Pretty please post your thoughts. And visual evidence, if so inspired.

And, like, how superwow would a Bollywood version of Heathers be? I think I've just found my true calling. Dibs! Think about it: they're at a school, so there can be a college-wide musical event with signs and banners. They can play cricket instead of croquet (hey, that's weird, do you think those two words are related?). There could even be a song and dance every time someone dies! "I love my dead, too-worthless-to-be-employed-in-an-office-where-people-sit-around-but-don't-really-do-anything son!" Surely all the young stars worth their dramatic chops will be excited to play such tongue-in-cheeck parts! Suneil Shetty as J. D. Sushmita Sen as the ringleader Heather. Aishwarya Rai as Veronica. Anupam Kher as Veronica's dad and Reema Lagoo as her mom. Rani Mukherjee as the Shannen Doherty Heather. I can see it now....

3 comments:

Beth said...

My personal vote is for shirts. Genearlly I find hats strange, although not distractingly so, and mostly the pants seeem to be a pleasing stride towards universal metrosexuality. But the shirts...ohmygosh. One of my top faves is Hrithik in "Ek Pal Ka Jeena" - it's so sheer it seems to be panty hose, and if memory serves it has some word scrawled on it. It is cha-oice! For a reminder, see here. Of course, it is hard to judge it in isolation, given the pleather and bandanna accompanying it.

ads said...

Hmm, this is a tough call, because all three items can go so wrong in so many different ways. I guess I'll go with shirts, too, since the two egregious fashion choices that spring to mind at the moment are Zayed Khan's Sistine Chapel long-sleeved t-shirt from Main Hoon Na, which I find intriguing in its juxtaposition of Renaissance art with Abercrombie-style casualwear, and also the plastic skintight autumn-themed disco shirt that Raj wears when he goes to the gym to throw basketballs at Hrithik Roshan's head in Koi Mil Gaya. (I'll work on finding pictures.) Sorry for the longest sentence ever.

Beth said...

Excellent choices! Speaking of Koi Mil gaya, this is also quite bad. It's almost as though Salman and Hrithik should have their own categories - the more muscley the actor, the worse their clothes. The clothes may make the man, but maybe it works in reverse too.