* with apologies to Babasko, who thought of this sort of title first.
It's not uncommon for me to watch movies in multiple stages, but this one really pushed the limits. If I had been liveblogging, it'd have to look something like this:
- Tuesday, 7:10 pm: movie about twenty minutes in and I can hardly keep my eyes open; realize I would rather be watching a Gilmore Girls repeat
- Thursday, 9:27 pm: movie about thirty minutes further in and I can hardly keep my eyes open; realize I would rather be asleep and that a Kevin Sorbo-guested episode of The OC is better than this could ever be and I should just quit while I'm ahead
- Friday, 9:30 am: a morning movie, even an "enh" one, is a good idea; I've had worse accompaniaments to a bowl of cereal
- Friday, 4:53 pm: the lasagna is in the oven and my parents are supposed to arrive at about 6:00, so I can just finish it if I don't keep pausing to laugh at the subtitles
- Friday, 5:30 pm: parents early
- Friday, 8:38 pm: everyone tired; sense of loyalty to Mr. Khanna compels me to watch the final thirteen minutes and start getting screen captures
and "no motivation without rotation," which I think means that the more you change boyfriends the harder you try for the next one, or something, I don't know.
There's a love story that you have to buy into in order for this movie to work, and I was never convinced by any of its leads. The plot is silly but no moreso than usual; there are a few moments in which people - either the characters or the actors - seem to be enjoying themselves, but the story and its execution are generally dull. Nothing about it is exceptionally bad, but I cannot give you a reason to watch it, even if you're a big fan of any of the leads. You can just check stills to see how silly they made forty-six-year-old Suneil Shetty look, and I'll tell you right now that Anupam Kher overdoes his bumbling father at times, as does Lillete Dubey her "I'm so glam and modern on the outside here in London but phir bhi dil hai Hindustani" mother, although she is balanced out a bit by the few speaking lines of her Monsoon Wedding costar Kamini Khanna, whom I am always happy to see.
With one exception.** I know I've said this a lot lately, but once again, bad subtitling ran amok throughout this movie. The best example was someone getting "ditched at the alter." Mostly there were jarring and repeated discrepancies between what was being said and what was written on the screen; while most of the time I suspect that didn't matter too much, I wouldn't be surprised if some interesting bits were lost in the fog. A few were probably just lazy typos, like "he" where there should have been "she" or "do" instead of "to" in an angry "do hell with your friendship!" Many times this happened during English dialogue, so the mistakes were clear: "nervous girl" was written for "nervous flyer"; "it's how I am" for "it's fashionable"; "he is the man" for "he is Aman" (this was about Akshaye, so I giggled extra); and "a don't-care-for-you attitude" for "your don't-care-a-damn attitude." Sigh. I'm sorry if my constant whining about this is getting irritating; maybe subconsciously I'm hoping that if I complain enough, someone with the power to fix the problem will do so, especially since it is surely so easy and affordable to avoid.
Deep cleansing breath.
Peace out, yo.
(There is a whole series of delightfully silly hip-hop-esque poses in the remix of the title song, which plays under the opening credits. I watched them many, many times. Love him as I do, Abhishek in Bluffmaster he ain't. In fairness I should add that right after this, which is as the song ends, his entire mode changes and he sits nicely with his hands folded and looks off towards stage left, as though he's making eye contact with a director or choreographer, waiting for their approval, and then laughs, as though he knows he's just mugged ferociously [and looks a little out of his comfort zone in the bling].)
** Okay, two. In addition to the bad subtitles, I had to fug one of Amisha's outfits, which you can read about on Bollywood Fugly if you are so inclined.