Wednesday, January 26, 2011

If there's one thing we've learned from the internet, it's that there is always someone out there even weirder than we are.

Following 4DK's hilarious and eyebrow-raising lead, here is a short list of some of the most amusing and confusing search terms that led people to Beth Loves Bollywood over the last year. Apparently many readers share my curiosity about Akshaye Khanna's hair, providing several variations on that theme:

  • Akshaye Khanna hair
  • Akshaye Khanna hair loss
  • Akshaye Khanna losing hair
  • what did Akshaye Khanna do to his hair
What, indeed! Perhaps he should ask Rekha, whose enviable tresses yielded:
  • Rekha secret for long hair
  • what is the secret of Bollywood Rekha ji for her beautiful hair
Family Khanna sent much love my way, far more than Shashi Kapoor:
  • is Akshaye Khanna gay
  • Akshaye Khanna girlfriend
  • Vinod Khanna shirtless in Qurbani video
  • is Rahul Khanna gay
Some specific inquiries make sense, especially given my particular interests and writing style:
  • Shashi Kapoor fan blog
  • Shaitani Dracula review
  • Maha Chor bellbottoms
  • 3rd person singular madlib
  • Asoka sexy
  • Krantiveer love rap lyrics [I'd like to know those too!]
  • Bollywood feminism
  • Bollywood movie with crocodile [some form of the word "crocodile" appeared in half a dozen searches]
  • Bollywood robot
  • youtube Bollywood female swashbucklers [if anyone does find these, please let me know!]
  • musthave Bollywood film
Others made me wonder what part of "Bollywood" the person did not understand: Kim Cattrall young pictures.

My version of the "Really?" award, which is not as funny as 4DK's, is Amrish Puri shirtless scenes
.

The "Barking Up the Wrong Tree" award goes to what went wrong in Indian culture.

And my absolute favorite: Amitabh Bachchan wearing poncho
, not the least because I can actually deliver!


15 comments:

Ness said...

hahah! my best Khanna related one so far is "why is Rahul Khanna single?"

I don't know if my blog was that helpful in answering said query :)

Vinayak Razdan said...

And I can't tell you how often I end up at your blog with my weird queries :)

Shweta Mehrotra Gahlawat said...

your search terms are hilarious! while mine are just strange- eg: "method man and carmen elektra." im just amazed.

Beth said...

Ness - A DAMN GOOD QUESTION. Sadly, none of us has the answer :(

Vinayak - Really? Share share! :) I bet YOUR site has a zillion fabulous queries.

Shweta - That is strange!

Todd said...

Bravo! I see we've all gotten swept up in the net of Amrish Puri's irresistible internet sex god appeal -- something that, as much as I love Amrish, I doubt I'll ever understand. Is it the eyebrows?

Lime(tte) said...

Amitabh in poncho - yeah... :)

myrna-nora said...

This is hilarious. I actually want to put some of those terms in google and see where the internet will take me.

By the way, what film are those poncho pictures from?

Beth said...

Todd - Curious indeed. No matter how many hundreds more Hindi films I watch, I can't imagine I will ever understand that. Or why so many people look for things that truly disturb me, like "[actress name] + rape", which I think must be super twisted code for "sex scene." EW.

Lime(tte) - YEAH!

myrna-nora - DO IT! But report back so that we know you made it out alive :) The poncho is from Ram Balram, which I wrote up here.

Anonymous said...

Fascinating info!!
.
As to Amrish Puri shirtless - in fact in Bhumika he does play a non-villain (tho not a hero either, it's a Shyam Benegal movie) and I think we do actually see a somewhat fit body display, maybe with an undershirt, anyhow I remember noting some such thing.
.
VIRGINIA

Beth said...

Virginia - I loved Bhumika and should dig through my screencaps to see what I can find. I promise to post any goodies for my inquisitive reader(s)! :)

memsaab said...

I love the ones that are most likely the result of typos or a lack of English fluency (but not necessarily). For instance:

"old indian film star mahipal bath day"

Banno said...

Weird, weirder, weirdest.

I remembered a similar poncho in 'Mr. Natwarlal'.

Anarchivist said...

Ha ha ha!

I went and checked mine out, and am glad that I was able to provide an exhaustive answer to the question "What is the film called when a woman gets thrown to crocodiles and receives plastic surgery?" The way that's phrased, it sounds like it's a whole genre! Which, in a way, it kind of is. :)

Sadly, I don't think I was much help with "Nutan milks a cow in Hindi films."

Beth said...

memsaab - Bath day! Why isn't there a song for THAT? :)

Banno - I smell a post on Bolly ponchos!

Anarchavist - That's a very good question and I'm so glad that the blogosphere is so well-armed to answer and illustrate it :) Sometimes I wonder if search terms are what someone is actually looking for as an abstract concept - like "gee, I wonder if there's a movie where Nutan milks a cow? I can only dare to dream!" - OR if it's a descriptor of something they remember seeing and they can't think of any other way to pin down a particular film. Sadly I bet it's the latter.

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